17 Random Facts About Masturbating That Will Make Your Head Explode

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Masturbation is like leftover pizza: While you would prefer to get something fresh and hot, if you’re hungry it will do just fine. But how much do you really know about “alone time”? They say you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself first, so here are some random facts about getting down with your bad self.

1. The good news: Guys, if you “flush out” your pipes when you’re over 50, it lowers your risk of prostate cancer, according to a University of Nottingham study.
2. The bad news: While you’re still under 50, it may actually increase your risk of prostate cancer.
3. The University of Sydney found that masturbation leads to a lower chance of diabetes and insomnia. Maybe because you aren’t eating candy during that time?
4. Careful, though. If you go at it too hard, you can fracture your own penis.
5. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 80% of males have masturbated by age 17, as opposed to 58% of females — and those who do are more likely to have sex and use condoms.
Related: Everything You (N)ever Wanted To Know About Condoms
6. By adulthood, those numbers rise to 92% of men and 62% of women.
7. During the Victorian age, many doctors believed masturbation was a disease — and to stop themselves, they would wear a Jugum Penis. Behold the horror:

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8. 70% of married people admit to masturbating. For better and for worse.
9. According to a Kinsey Institute survey, 38% of people watch porn merely as a distraction, and 43% “because I can fantasize about things I would not necessarily want in real life.”
10. Proponents of masturbation can’t decide whether May 7th or May 28th is International Masturbation Day. Heck, why can’t we just celebrate both days?
11. 53% of women use toys when masturbating. Whatever your gender, just be sure to take them out afterward.
12. More than seven million Fleshlights have been sold worldwide.
13. Every year, between 500 and 1,000 people die from autoerotic asphyxia in the U.S. alone. Maybe have a spotter?
Related: 22 Facts To Make You Feel Better (Or Worse) About Your Sex Life

14. Earlier this year, Apple nixed an app called “Happy Fun Time” that taught women how to masturbate through a cartoon vulva.
15. According to Planned Parenthood, masturbation is an effective way to “relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension.”
16. In 1994, under pressure from Republicans, President Bill Clinton fired U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders for suggesting that masturbation should be taught to help prevent AIDS.
17. Only 46% of women report orgasming within three minutes from masturbation. 99% of men could probably orgasm while reading this sentence.
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