Are spouses opening up on sex?

by Unknown 12:02 0 comments

Sex remains a potent tool to spice new relationship and to also heat up lasting ones. As always, great sex is still achievable when the technicalities are in place.

Primarily, it is very important to make your spouse to open up and talk freely about sex, interests and the things she/he would love to try out in bed. However, talking about sex is always an awkward moment especially if you’re newly married and have not been experiencing penetrative sex before. Even when you have been married for many years, you may still feel uncomfortable discussing sex because you’re afraid you may be judged.

But do you know that you can turn even the most prudish of wife or husband with locked up secrets into a serial confessor? Free sex talk makes spouses feel closer and it makes their sex lives feel more awesome and fresh with every passing day. Many though, have failed in this area because instead of engaging in talks that will promote good sexual relationship, they bring up dirty past experiences that usually ruin their sex bed. I would advise that confessing past experiences, especially if your spouse doesn’t know just how sexually liberated and active you’ve been before you got married, should be handled with wisdom. As a matter of fact, most partners prefer to stay in the dark instead of hearing their partners’ twisted past. But if you’re sure your partner would be able to handle your past, slip a few details now and then and watch how she/he reacts to it over a couple of weeks.

To start off, kindly avoid ‘the serious talk’. For instance statements like ‘we need to talk about sex’ is the last thing you should say if you want to introduce the topic of sexual openness or sexual fantasies. The best time to talk about sex should be when both of you are in bed, or when both of you are just fooling around and relaxing around the house, or when the opportune moment crops up, either because of something a friend said or something you saw on the television or in a magazine.

If you’re feeling terribly awkward about the impending sexual conversation, it is better to speak in the third person. You can talk about a ‘friend of yours’ who likes a particular fantasy or has indulged in a particular sexual style. It’s easier to talk in the third person, and if your wife or husband likes the idea, you can always smile sheepishly and confess that you were talking about yourself!

While trying to please your spouse or to prove that you love his/her idea even when you may not, you have to be careful and not be overly forceful or go overboard. Just because your partner enjoys something doesn’t mean he/she expects you to enjoy the same thing. Sometimes, it takes an understanding and compromise for sexual interests not to clash between married partners. Spouses must find a better way to talk to their partners about their sexual interests. And also bear in mind that it may take some time for the ideas to sink in, and if it’s something you just can’t do, be forthright and tell your spouse about it.

While at the stage of foreplay, do not rush into the act because you find your wife irresistible. Stop and take it slow and relate your heart’s desire to her or ask her to express or reveal her deepest sexual thoughts with you. Taking it slow in bed, and talking about things either of you enjoy can be a revelation that can make your sex life a lot more interesting. Take time to explore each other, talk about things both of you enjoy and try new things that feel good in bed. Holding your sexual thoughts close to your heart and expecting sex to magically get better with each passing day as the infatuation wears off is like asking for a miracle every time you have sex. Open your mind, and explore the world of sexual fantasies.

There are different ways to tell your partner how much you enjoy sleeping with him or her, so cultivate your peculiar creative way of sexual conversation. Sometimes the way you talk about sex or demand for it; the way you respond to your partner’s advances or the things you do to your body in order to look good, could go a long way in keeping the passion in your relationship hot and sizzling. When there is a mutual desire to talk and jump into each other’s arms and roll together, a spouse will always be willing to go the extra mile to ensure that they both have the best of sex. Therefore, flirting with your spouse with talk can be ideal. There is nothing wrong with word flirt; it makes a spouse to be more sexually confident. When married lovers put on their alluring airs, they are indirectly telling themselves of the special interest in their sexual prowess, all spouses often react positively to this kind of attitude.

Talks and looks go hand-in-hand. This is because glances and talks generate sexual energy and also accelerate sexual power. Glancing and talking seductively could eventually get your spouse fired up sexually regardless of the level of pretence. Statistically on the average people get sexually bored easily so voice your sexual fantasy and practise it with your spouse.



QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Does anal sex cause vaginal infection?

My problem is that my desire to have sex with my husband has really taken a downturn and he has been complaining so bitterly. The thought of having him kiss me, touch me and make love to me really makes me so sick. I give excuses and most times, I decide to succumb to avoid fights. I just lie like a log of wood most times and let him have his way. All this is really so surprising to me because we used to have a fabulous and active sex life in the early years of our marriage. Suddenly I don’t know why it all changed for the worse. I usually feel so bad for him when I turn him down but the truth is that I just don’t usually feel like being made love to. The urge is not there at all. As a matter of fact, whenever we are alone in the house, I usually get so scared and afraid so that he won’t ask me to let us make love. In the beginning we used to give each other cunninglingus and fellatio I told him to stop because I observe that after he does it to me, I end up having serious itches, pains and sometimes this leads to wounds in my vagina. Does anal sex affect the vaginal?

Mrs. Emmanuelle Joshua

You are not alone in this kind of situation. What you should do is first find quality time to discuss with your husband. Agree to stay off sex for some time and rekindle your courtship activities. Talk and just talk a lot with each other, take a time off for vacation within your budget and then deliberately renew your interest in your man first then in your sexual attraction.

Anal sex does cause vaginal infection because intermittent sex from the anus to the vaginal sometimes do allow ascending infection from the little faecal particles that normally stick to the penis via the semen from the anus to the vaginal. The anus is meant to expel waste and when these waste find their way to the vaginal, infection would set in.



Can baby in the womb really respond to sounds?

My wife said the baby in her womb will become promiscuous if we have sex while she is still pregnant as such, we should not have sex till she gives birth because she believe a funny superstition that babies can actually repeat what is done outside the womb. Kindly shed more light on this.

Thomas Luke



Actually, by the third trimester, researchers have evidence that unborn babies respond to rhymes recited by their mothers, but the extent they respond to sexual activities is not conclusive.

By the time women are 34 weeks pregnant, their unborn babies can respond to the sound of their mothers’ voices. This is because the mother’s voice is the predominant source of sensory stimulation in the developing foetus. A mother’s voice is involved in the development of early learning and memory capabilities.

Can one reach orgasm from nipple play only and is Nipple leakage normal?

Lolo Keechi

Nipples are full of nerves, and MRI tests show that fondling them “lights up” the same part of the brain that is linked to the genitals. Nipple leakage is only normal when a woman is breast feeding, or when one is discharging during late pregnancy or after giving birth. Any other time, it’s not normal. A leak can signal a number of things, from thyroid and other hormone problems to cancer, so get it checked out by a doctor.